


Back To December

by Yoan_Amara



Series: Love Song Series [2]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Brotherly Affection, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love Confession, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 10:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15411360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoan_Amara/pseuds/Yoan_Amara
Summary: Love begins to spark in Soo Won's heart. Yona still in love with him after all this time and even after what he did to her. Lily freaks them out with the hairpin that belongs to Yona which she got from Ogi. Soo Won asks Lily to help him to meet Yona in Kuuto.





	Back To December

**Author's Note:**

  * For [YonaWon](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=YonaWon).



> Brotherly affection will be between Jae Ha and Hak

It’s started on the beginning of the Winter. In the end of the year, December always become busy month for the citizen because of festivals on the Winter. Problems with Kai Empire will be taken deal with later because come on, you can’t start war or fight against your enemy in the battlefield in the middle of blizzard, right?

In the library, after Lily excuses herself and turns to leave after her conversation with Soo Won (with their bodyguard, Ayura, Tetora and Joo Doh watch them, of course), Lily drops something from her robe when she holding book that she will read on her room.

Joo Doh takes it “Lady Lily, you dropped this”.

Lily stiffens a bit but quickly recovers and turns around “oh, thank you”.

Before Lily takes it from Joo Doh’s hand, Soo Won snatches it first “you… from where you get this hairpin?”.

Somehow, Lily remembers of Hak’s reaction when she asks Hak to give it back to Yona. She can read something bitter, sadness and pain in his eyes. The same expression is carved on Soo Won’s face. The expression of someone who hold the grief or misery of love.

Lily furrows her eyebrows “…don’t tell me you’re the one who has given this hairpin to **her**?”.

Silence.

Joo Doh, Ayura and Tetora twitch their face. Soo Won turns his face to the side in shame.

Her suspicion is confirmed, his silence is enough to answer her question.

“you’re kidding me? seriously? Your majesty, do you realize about what…?!”, Lily’s word cut off by Soo Won’s hand that cover her mouth instantly. From his eyes, she knows she shouldn’t talk about it here, not with their guard watch them, but anger has been surging to the surface and what matters for her only that she must throw this off her chest so she bats his hand forcefully and continues “your majesty, **you** are the one who cast **them** aside, so what are you glooming about?”.

Realize that Lily won’t let him go this time, he sighs, only one way to go “that’s right… I’m also questioning myself, sometimes… why is it hard to let them go? Why is it hard for myself to let them go?”.

“that’s because you still love them and care about them, you moron…”

Joo Doh is about to yell at her “Lady Lily!? such allegation…”.

Soo Won lifts his hand to him to stop him “General Joo Doh, miss Tetora and miss Ayura, can you leave us behind to give us some privacy time?”.

Joo Doh turns his eyes to Lily and Soo Won back and forth, hesitates “but, your majesty…”.

Soo Won glares to him “I said, you dismissed, now”.

After their guard leave them alone, only both of them inside this room, Lily narrows her eyes and snarls “I won’t forgive you, for what you did to Yona… after what you have done to her, you are not deserve her?! You’re not deserve for her heart and her love?!”.

“I know, I don’t expect to die happily and I don’t expect to live happily either. Once everything I must do is done, I will gladly die in Hak’s hand when he tries to kill me because what I deserve is only death”.

Lily lifts hairpin in her hand to the front of his face “then why did you give this to her?! from the first place… if in the end you wanted to leave her, why did you give this hairpin to her?”.

Right now, Yona and her group are taken the shelter on Kija’s village for their first Winter. Lily knows from Yona when the last time she met her for give this hairpin back, Yona has mentioned it doesn’t matter for her if she will not get that hairpin back because she has let it go besides she got that hairpin on her 16th birthday, the same day with her father was killed. The only reason of why that hairpin still on her hands is because Yona has persisted to not take it and asked Lily to keep it instead before she run off to pursue Hak. The anger and hatred on Hak’s eyes even if only for a second, she realizes it as well but quickly swat it away. Why doesn’t she realize it sooner?

“because it happened out of my plan?! I hoped Yona didn’t know and I planned to marry her but I never expected that she would come to that room on that night”, Soo Won confesses to Lily about what happened that night, including Yona’s intention to come to King Il’s chamber on that night “I always think that the only girl who can give warmth to me and the only girl I’ve ever wanted to marry is Yona. At first, I thought that feeling was only because we’ve been spending our time together ever since we were children, and she’s only the ticket for me to gain the throne with marry her, but it’s been too late already… when I realize it… that I love her and I only want to be with her”.

Lily doesn’t say anything. She only slaps his face before leaving him alone. Enough already for tonight.

After her argue with Soo Won that night, Lily decides to ask Yona about what she feels and what she wants. She knows this is not her business and she shouldn’t intervene but she can’t leave it be like this. It’s clear, Hak and Soo Won, both love her. One always protects her, never betray her nor leave her side while the other one has betrayed and hurt her. It’s only right for Yona to decide what she want, to whom she will believe her love and her heart.

That day, Lily gives little parchment to Soo Won “Yona will give you one chance, it’s up to you, do you want to meet her or not?”.

With hope in his eyes, Soo Won asks her back “what does she think?”.

Lily smiles sincerely, offers no lie “she said she still prepare her heart, but she has decided that both of you need to talk, when both of you ready for it”.

“…please tell her, I want to prepare my heart as well”.

* * *

**.**

**Three years later…**

**.**

On December, Yona and her group come to Kuuto. They can see Hiryuu Castle and Kuuto from the hill above here.

Hak takes a step forward “so, you’ve decided?”.

Yona nods her head, she turns her body to him, lifting her head up with guilt shown in her teary eyes “Hak, I’m so sor—”.

“don’t apologize, princess… you needn’t to apologize for anything to me…”, Hak pats her head and smiles bitterly “I know. I’ve always known about it already… from the first place, only Soo Won in your heart. It’s always been like this from the first place, right?”.

Yona hugs him and sobs “Hak, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”.

Hak shushes her “just go, he’s waiting for you”.

After Yona stops crying and leaves, Jae Ha approaches him and crosses his arm before his chest, standing right behind Hak “don’t cry, little brother”.

Hak ignores him and doesn’t look behind “shut up, I’m not crying and don’t use this time when you find me in vulnerable state as the advantage to tease me, big bro”.

“I won’t tease you because this is not funny, at all”, Jae Ha covers both Hak’s eyes from behind and grabs his wrist, turning his body facing him before leaning his face onto his shoulder “but I do will lend you my shoulder”.

Hak wraps his arm around Jae Ha’s shoulder, burying his face on his shoulder “just let me like this for a while, I’ll be alright…”.

Jae Ha pats his back “I know… let’s drink together tonight, okay? and I don’t mind if you use me as outlet”.

Hak knocks Jae Ha’s forehead using his forehead “what do you mean, pervert?”.

Yun, Kija, Shina and Zeno only watch from far distance in silent under the fallen snow.

Shina stares to other direction, to where Yona meets with Soo Won.

**.**

“I’m glad you make time to see me, Yona”, Soo Won asks her about her condition, she’s well, and the conversation turns into her comrades, her only family that left for her “say, I haven't seen them in a while”.

“I ask them to wait for me on other place”, unlike him who feels nervous, her answer clear and without doubt, she’s grown up into mature woman. She ties her hair into fish-tail braiding, using plain red kimono under her black Haori with Camellia pattern. No longer able to be seen her childish features when she’s still on the castle. Who meet and talk with him right now is grown up mature woman and it makes him love her more. He can feel the tense on her body and how her guard is up since they meet and talk here.

No wonder, he thinks. He understands it’s because the image of him on that night is still burned in the back of her mind. Yona has given her heart to love him wholeheartedly. She gave him her roses and he left those beautiful roses withered from his hand. All he has given back in the return of her love, her beautiful heart only good bye, betrayed her with kill her father and destroyed her heart into pieces.

Soo Won thinks it’s the right time to end the conversation with talking about the most important thing that he should have talked with her since long time ago. He puts down his cup “Yona…”.

Yona surprised when Soo Won bows his body with his forehead on the floor “Soo Won?”.

“even if I know you can’t, and you won’t, you would never able to forgive me, I’m sorry for that night”, this is it, he swallows all of his pride, it no longer important and matters to him “at first, I deceived myself that I no longer able to be together with you and I thought I’ve resented you for what your father did to my father, then when we were no longer able together, I thought I would think that finally I’m able to get rid of you, but I was wrong, I did so wrong… what turns out to me after I lost you, only this lonely and nothing but missing you”.

“Soo Won, lift your head, please”, Yona touches his shoulder tenderly.

Soo Won lifts his body but he still can’t lift his head up to see her face, so he lowers his head and he stares to other things in shame, anything but she demands to look straight in the eyes with Soo Won when she explains that she has heard it from Lily, about how Kan Soo Jin and Keishuk have tricked and deceived him to take revenge on his father’s death and to take the throne to prevent this Kingdom from falling.

“I do have a moment where I thought I’ve resented you and I wouldn’t forgive you, that I hate you but I did wrong. I understand your real intention after seeing how terrible Kouka has become during my father’s reign, I myself can understand that my father is not a good King but I’m so surprised…”, Yona closes her eyelids and remembers how she realizes that she still in love Soo Won, after all this time, even after what he did to her, thinking back to what happened back then on Kan Soo Jin’s rebellion “during Kan Soo Jin’s rebellion, not only that I realized that Kouka needs a strong King, a King that can lead Kouka with might, and that’s when I saw you and I thought, ah, I see… that’s why you became this country’s King… but deep in my heart, I didn’t want you to die after what you did to me, to my father and I afraid, I didn’t want to lose you… that’s why I selfishly asked my friends who willingly to came to Kuuto with me, but looks like our help was unneeded since you could handle it with your own, right?”.

Soo Won blushes and averts his eyes “I… don’t think so, but you’re thinking of me much too high… I so wished I’d realized what I had when you were mine, that I loved you… I do still love you…”.

Soo Won confesses about how every season has been through, all of his mind would wander into everything about her. How he loves the Springs when he can meet her on her birthday and would stay with her the longest time rather than other seasons but it turns out to the time when how he has ruined everything on her birthday. How he gets the hardest time to sleep on the summertime because her natural scent and her beautiful smile always make him remembers of the brightest sun in the Summer. How he realizes that he falls in love with her in the Autumn as the red leaves fall to the ground that make him remembers of her red hair. How he mourns in the dark days like he does in the darkest nights on the Winter when the cold comes, when he feels how the bed has gotten colder without her by his side and fear creeps into his mind sometimes but she’s nowhere to be near him to get rid of those feelings.

“I’m so stupid… you gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye. That’s why, today I want to apologize, I’m so sorry for hurting you…”.

“Soo Won!? Listen to me?!”, Yona cuts him off and reaches out her hand with smile on her face “I forgive you”.

Soo Won can’t help but hug her, burying his face onto her shoulder “I know I don’t deserve you, so I’ll be glad if you can be happy together with other man but not me who deserve you more, be it with Hak or…”.

Yona raises her eyebrow “you didn’t think that I will love you back again?”.

“listen, ever since Lady Lily confronted me on that December night three years ago, I go back to that fateful night all the time. I wish I’d go back to that night to turn around and change my own mind to make it all right. Maybe this is only my wishful thinking or probably mindless dreaming, but if we loved again… this time I swear I'd love you right”, Soo Won breaks the hug and wipes his tears, turning his face from her “I wish I’d go back in time and change it but I know I can't. So, if the chain is on your heart’s door for me when I want to knock it and open that door, I’ll understand”.

“but you can, silly… I will open the door and let you love me with the right way again this time”.

“eh?”, Soo Won more than startles when Yona cups his face and pulls him to her level before she kisses him.

Yona smiles mischievously as she breaks the kiss “besides, if you hurt me again, I’ll let not only Hak, but also Yun and Four Dragons to kick you”.

“I guess I’ll die instantly at that”, Soo Won hugs her and Yona giggles at that. Soo Won cups her face and kisses her again, smiles on how her roses cheeks reacted on his kiss “but I’d rather die than hurt and make you cry ever again”.

When their conversation has done, at least Soo Won can face her ‘family’ with holding her hand even if he still must receive a punch from Hak.

“one more time you hurt her and make her cry, you will be faced with us”, Hak lifts his thumb, pointing to where Yun and Four Dragons standing in a line behind him.

Soo Won wipes blood on the corner of his mouth and smiles as he sees Hak smirks mischievously “I know, you can kill me if that’s happen but I will not let it happen, ever again”.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to my boy who has suggested this song. He told me the story behind this song, which the singer of this song (female) singing this song for her ex-boyfriend and how she regret it because she was a bad girlfriend for him when they were broke up. Actually, for me this song not only describe about how Soo Won feels to Yona, but also can describe about how Yona feels to Hak, that's why I make that scene between Hak and Yona. I guess you all can understand even though I don't explain it and surely you know this song from who


End file.
